Time flies. The final examination is coming as scheduled.
Sandy is excited—after the exams, winter break is finally coming. But he still feels a little worried about his grades.
(The bell rings.)
It’s time for him to walk into the examination room. The first subject is physics. When the bell rings, the fighting starts.
“Don’t worry, Host. I will let you see my new form.”
“Tch! I have my own strength, okay?”
“Then whoever asks me for help is a gay!”
“No!”
The test paper is handed out and Sandy starts to write. It’s in reality. But in his inner world, he comes into…
A boat! It says: “Now, I need to cross the river. The river’s velocity is 5 m/s and my velocity(speed) is 10 m/s. Could you tell me how to cross it in the shortest distance? Then help me!”
“What?”
“False!” The boat overturns, causing Sandy to fall into the water. [K! O!]
Then he comes into… no, under a plane. It says: “I want to throw you into the river. My velocity is 50 m/s, the altitude is 125 m and the horizontal distance is 150 m. Can you get to the river?”
Sandy doesn’t say anything but starts thinking and calculating (jì suàn)…… Although he absorbs the lesson, he still…
“False!”
“What the hell!”
“You are too slow.”
“Three seconds! You only give me three seconds!”
“Excuse!” Then Sandy is thrown out by it and falls onto a boat. Then the boat overturns rapidly, and you know…
K! O!
Though he suffers repeated defeats（fight and lose repeatedly） in the physics world, he still sits there and writes his paper quietly as usual. Even, he writes so fast that he doesn’t check his answers because he wants to finish everything first and then come back to check.
Too naive (tiān zhēn)!
Now, he is stuck on the last problem — “Fsinθ – mg sinθ – f = ma, Fcosθ – mg cosθ = Fv…” What the hell am I writing?! He doesn’t know how to do it.
In the inner world, the sinusoidal function (f(x)=sinx) and the cosine function (f(x)=cosx) are stopping in front of him, following the gravity（zhòng lì）, acceleration（jiā sù dù）…
Hopeless! Endless hopelessness!
Only ten minutes left!
Sandy starts to feel nervous and his palm (shǒu xīn) starts to sweat. Then his hand starts to shake and his mind goes blank (kōng bái).
Everything starts but he still hasn’t started checking his answers, and worse—he hasn’t even finished the last problem.
“Wait! I have hh.” He didn’t want to ask hh for help originally, but now, he doesn’t care. “Hey! hh! Help me!”
Updating…
When he sees that, he freezes (lèng zhù) and opens his mouth without extra actions…
“What? … What!… What the **! It’s the new form that you said? I C**,*****, I C***!”
And there is also a sentence following—
【As Heaven’s movement is ever vigorous, so must a gentleman strive unceasingly. (Tian Xing jian, jian zY YY ZI qiang Bi XT)】
“****, *****, *****.”
Only five minutes left!
Who knows that Sandy starts to smile suddenly…
“Things become interesting now. Show time!”
Show time? He shows an egg… When the time runs out, the bell rings. He doesn’t change anything, no check, no last problem. Maybe it’s just his — destiny (tiān mìng).
It’s time to hand in the test paper.
Sandy walks out of the exam room, hearing the complaining words of students in his ears.
“WC! It’s too difficult!”
“I didn’t even finish it!”
“Aaa! Gua Ke Le!”
Sandy doesn’t say anything, just listening, but looks at the distant scenery…
The second subject is politics (zhèng zhì). Since he chose the sciences track, he doesn’t care about other subjects. So he writes it casually (suí biàn).
He also comes into the politics world, and a scene showing the trade between China and the USA appears (cǎi yǎn) in front of him. — How to deal with this national issue?
Sandy directly says, “I know! I know! Calculate the value of its sinusoidal function and then conduct a force analysis on it…”
It’s time for lunch.
Sandy pays 10?? for it and sits with his classmates.
“Aaa! The physics this time is too difficult!”
“Did you finish it?”
“Of course not, it’s impossible. I only got to the second-to-last problem.”
“Giao! I ignored the f on this problem!”
Hearing these, Sandy doesn’t say anything but starts to review the process of the physics exam and reflect on it.
“I need to write more carefully in the following exams.” Without hh’s company, he can still do this alone.
At this moment, Janet walks up to Sandy and says, “What do you think of the physics exam?”
Sandy freezes for a second and hurries to say, “Extremely difficult!”
“Really? I saw you—you didn’t even complain; you had the heart to go sightseeing.”
“Do I really have to tell you I got solo-killed by that boat ten times?” Sandy thinks, but says, “Maybe… it’s easy for you, right, oh, no, no, it must be easy for you…”
“Haha!” Janet. A sweet smile spreads across her face.
“No, I didn’t finish either.”
Sandy smiles back but feels embarrassed. “Why is she smiling at me?” he thinks.
After she leaves, Buzz asks Sandy in a hurry, “Why did she ask you instead of me?!”
“Because I’m handsome! Eat your lunch.”
The sky is covered with dark clouds. Coming to the afternoon, the third subject — Chinese has started.
As Sandy starts writing, he enters the Chinese world. Looking at the rain and the dark sky out the window, he realizes the following fight will be thoroughly tough. (In fact, it isn’t just tough, it’s — hopeless, too.)
When he reaches the line, “Rocks pierce the sky, fierce waves pound the shore, raising a thousand drifts of snow,” he comes to Chi Bi and countless rocks fly through the sky aiming to pierce (cì chuān) Sandy’s head. Although he uses his pencil to strike back and his eraser to defend, he is still pierced by these rocks.
【K! O!】
Or pounded (pāi dǎ) by the fierce waves…
【K! O!】
When he gets to the reading comprehension question — 【Me and the Temple of Earth 】(By Shi Tiesheng), he sits in a wheelchair and receives a task — Stand up. (I’m sorry to write these.)
Question: Analyze the author’s feeling.
“Aaa… My legs!”
When he comes to “Appreciation of Chinese Classical Poetry,” the scene before his eyes lets him freeze. The beautiful flowers drift down with the soft wind, all beautiful things appear in front of his eyes.
“人生若只如初见...” (If life could be as it were when we first met…) An elderly man’s voice rings out.
Sandy suddenly sees scenes flash before him: the moment he got hh, hh helping him with homework, him playing on his phone chatting with hh at home—all the wonderful times spent with hh…
【HP -10】
【K! O!】
The scenes which appeared before his eyes disappear instantly.
“What the **!”
“You’re too noob（cài）, kid.” The elderly man who read the poem before says to Sandy.
“Another old man?” Sandy activates detection on him quickly.
Ding — the detection is used successfully.
【纳兰性德 (Qing Dynasty)
Level: 93 | HP: 100 | ATK: depends on skills
INT: 96 | Strength: 85 | Glamour: 92
skills: ???】
“Let’s see… Do you know me?”
Sandy freezes again, his mind blank.
“Forget it. Go write your essay. See you next time.”
Looking at the old man’s disappearing figure,
“Did I… was I lost in my memories just now? … He’s too strong. Level 93!” Sandy realizes that he will fight him in the future.
In reality, he writes slowly and carefully — slow and steady wins the race. So when he starts the essay, only 40 minutes remain.
But Sandy doesn’t worry about it, because he absorbed the concentrated knowledge of argumentative essays earlier. Now, it comes in handy.
Bell (→) The Chinese exam is over.
After eating dinner with his classmates, they come to the playground for a walk.
“Hey! Did you know there’s a winter camp during the holiday?” a classmate says.
“How long will it last?”
“I think a week.”
“Can we all sign up?”
“You think too much. The teachers will pick students with better grades…”
“There’s no way they’d pick us.”
“Let’s guess who’ll get picked — Janet,Colette, Edgar.”
They walk slowly, feeling the warm breeze, enjoying the beautiful spring sights. They don’t talk about study or the exams. They just chat freely, no pressure, no stress.
“So… do you want to go to the winter camp?” hh asks, clearly up to no good.
“I’d rather stay home. Besides, they’d never pick me anyway.”
“It doesn’t matter. I can handle them.”
“Wait! Are you updating?”
【Updating...]
Sandy clicks the system panel, but it still just says “Updating”:
“Grass! *****!” (Incompetent and furious.)
Soon it’s the next day. They need to take biology, chemistry, and history this morning.
The bell rings. Sandy steps into the exam room and finds his seat, thinking of his strategy: write carefully and slowly.
Everything proceeds as usual in reality. In his mental world, he enters the chemistry world.
A wicked-looking old man appears in front of him. He is carrying various reagents (shì jì) filled with dangerous-looking chemicals, wearing a white lab coat and carrying a big bag on his back.
Seeing this, Sandy pulls out his pencil (SS) and ruler (S) and gets into a fighting stance. Although he’s experienced plenty of situations like this, he still feels a bit nervous and knows he needs to be careful.
The wicked old man throws out two bottles filled with H??SO??. Sandy dodges（duǒ kāi） one and deflects（strikes back） the other with his ruler.
But the wicked old man just opens his bag, and the bottle falls inside. Then he tosses out HCl and some iron.
Fe 2HCl = FeCl?? H??↑
Sandy doesn’t know what he’s thrown, but he immediately backs away.
At the same time, the wicked old man tosses a flame…
Boom!!!
Even with the “Moon” card active, Sandy is still hurt by the blast. He dodges some of the attack and uses his eraser’s “Absolute Defense” skill (which withstands 90% of physical damage) to block the rest.
Using the Moon’s hiding effect and the chaos from the explosion, Sandy closes in. When he’s close, he swings his ruler like a sword.
[K! O!]
Yes,Sandy is KOed by the wicked old man.
The old man snaps his fingers, and all the oxygen around Sandy disappears while Sandy is swinging his ruler.
“What the **! This is chemistry?”
Don’t give him much time to think about this, because the next fight is coming.
When he comes to the history world, an ancient battlefield (zhàn chǎng) appears before his eyes. Yellow sand floats in the air, blocking his view. Countless soldiers in armor (kuī jiǎ), weapons raised, are fighting each other.
“Wow! This is real fighting.”
Sandy uses his ruler as a sword and his pencil as a spear（máo）. His eraser? That’s his shield（dùn）.
To anyone watching, he looks like a real soldier.
He swings his ruler at enemies, cutting down anyone in his path. To Sandy, their armor is like paper. Every time he swings, a head rolls. Every time he thrusts his pencil, it finds a heart. Even when dozens surround him, he blocks their attack with his ruler, then sweeps them down with his pencil. They all fall.
The more he kills, the he feels excited. It’s as if this battlefield is the only place where Sandy can release all the frustration from fighting other subjects.
Suddenly, Sandy spots a man who stands out from the crowd. He wears a green war robe (zhàn pǎo) and carries an extraordinary broadsword engraved with green dragons. What stands out most is his bright red face—red as a date.
He doesn’t notice Sandy—actually, he doesn’t see Sandy at all. His eyes are closed, standing still, stroking his long beard (chǔ xū).
Seeing this, Sandy quickly puts away his stationery and drops to his knees(guì xià).
“Sorry to disturb you!Guan Ye!”
(A big man.Can bend or unbend.)
Finally, it’s English.
Eee… But I don’t know how to describe it. So let’s skip to tomorrow.
In the morning — Sandy’s last morning at school, he has breakfast with his classmates in the dining hall. They chat while eating.
“After today, we can go home!”
“Yes, we finally can go home!”
Sandy looks at the system panel that still says “updating”:
“It needs 3 days? You’d better be updating!”
“I think the math this time will be extremely difficult, like physics.”
“Sigh! No chance of scoring over 140!”
Okay! The examination begins. The first subject is biology, the second is geography, and the last is math.
After entering the biology world, Sandy finds himself floating in an unfamiliar liquid (yè tǐ), but he can still breathe.
Big and small balls float all around him. Sometimes bubbles (qì pào) rise from them.
“Here, here! Ribosome! Let me ‘make you up’!”
“Protein! I need you! I’m hurt!”
“Oh! Our brother just died.”
“What a pity! Let’s feed it to the lysosome (róng méi tǐ).”
Just then, a big green oval (tuǒ yuán) appears in front of Sandy.
“Hey! Do you know me?” it says.
Sandy looks at its green body and answers, “That’s easy. You’re the… leaf yellow thing!”
“Wrong! I want my full name—chloroplast (yè lǜ tǐ).”
“What the **! Who knows your real English name!”
“Foreigner! Go to hell!!!”
Before he can react, a small ball—a lysosome—approaches and swallows him. Then it dissolves him from the inside.
[K! O!]
“It’s fortunate the pain doesn’t transfer to reality.” Sandy sighs while writing his paper.
When the geography world appears before Sandy, it signals another game—yes, a game—about to begin.
As soon as he opens his eyes, he shuts them again. Actually, he has to—there’s a sandstorm. Zooming out, we see Sandy standing in a rocky desert. The gale kicks up masses of sand, blocking his vision—he can’t even open his eyes.
“What the F—”
Before he can finish, sand fills his mouth.
“Pei, Pei, Pei… What the—”
Again.
Sandy decides not to open his mouth at all.
“Hey, kid! I’m the emissary (shǐ zhě) of the northwest wind. Answer my question correctly, and I’ll let you go. Listen carefully: where does the wind come from? What’s its direction?”
“How should I kn—”
Again.
“Fuc-!”
Again.
The heavy sun is suspending above Sandy highly.
Sandy thinks: He said he’s the emissary of the northwest wind… so the wind probably comes from the northwest.
Then he shouts, “North…west…ten-”
Again. The wind is so strong it swallows his voice.
“Wrong.”
“W—” Sandy opens his mouth again.
“Wait, wait! I know what you said. You don’t need to speak. But it’s still wrong. The answer is northeast. I knew you’d say that, so I chose a special spot on purpose—even though the prevailing wind here is northwest. Haha! I’m so smart! So… go to hell!”
As the words fall, a powerful gust rushes at him, and he’s blasted into the sky.
“Aaa… aa… aaa—”
He has no idea how far he’s flown when he sees a long, wide river with a boat floating on it.
“That boat looks familiar… Oh my god!”
Then he falls onto the boat. A familiar scene unfolds.
The boat flips, and Sandy falls into the water.
“Am I really going to get solo-killed by this thing 11 times?”
At this moment, a gentle voice says, “Don’t worry, kid. This is the geography world. I’m not here to hurt you.So let me ask you—what’s my name? To be exact, what’s the name of the river you see—or fell into?”
Sandy starts to think, but his mind goes blank. He’s in the water and might suffocate (zhì xī) any second.
“Long… gu lu gu lu… river.”
“Wow! Your meaning is right, but you should call me the Yangtze River. So go to hell!”
“Gu Lu Gu Lu…”
[K! O!]
“Fuck! I didn‘t choose geography, so why is it still this hard?!”
But this is only happening in his mental world. In reality, he’s just scribbling nonsense (luàn xiě) on his paper.
At noon, while having lunch with his friends, they hear the physics scores are out. Normally, they’d be excited. But this time, it’s different—nervousness, fear, dread…
After eating, they arrive at the physics office, already packed with students.
Meanwhile, they spot Janet and Colette nearby.
“Hey, Sandy.Do you(Sandy and his friends )come to check your scores?” Janet says.
“Yeah. We heard the results are out, so we come to see.”
On their teacher’s computer, there’s a score table. The first name is Edgar, followed by Janet, Colette…
Edgar, 99.
Janet, 98.
Colette, 96.
...
Sandy, 89.
“I actually got a multiple-choice wrong!”
But Sandy quickly reflects: “I didn’t check my earlier answers, okay?”
At this moment, their teacher speaks: “Everyone’s scores dropped this time. Under normal circumstances, our class should have at least three people scoring 100.”
Oh—forgot to mention, Buzz, 91.
......
Soon it’s afternoon. The final battle is about to begin.
It’s a big fight, but I don’t want to write it out since I’ve already done this twice. So let’s look at reality.
As Sandy steps into the exam room and sits down, he feels nervous and excited. He’s nervous about the math exam—worried it’ll be so difficult he’ll mess up. He’s excited about winter break—dreaming of the happy life after exams.
With this anxious mood, he starts writing.
He writes slowly and carefully. In fact, it’s a stark contrast to the physics exam—but he’s still writing a little faster than he should.
When he reaches the second-to-last part of the final problem, he realizes he’s written it wrong. It’s not a simple mistake—his entire approach is wrong. But he’s already written so much.
There’s no way he can get a new answer sheet with only 20 minutes left.
Then he remembers he skipped a fill-in-the-blank earlier because he didn’t know the answer. His thoughts drift back to winter break.
There’s not much time left.
“Sandy! Stay calm!” he says to himself.
“How am I going to fix this?” His thoughts snap back to the exam.
He glances at the clock, then around the room—everyone is focused on their papers.
Sandy withdraw his gaze and catches sight of his eraser.
“Wait—my eraser has a skill that can erase black pen marks… But this is reality now…Forget it.Might as well try."
To his stunned amazement, his answer starts to fade.
“I love you, hh!”
When he finishes, only five minutes remain. Now he has a choice—tackle the fill-in-the-blank or the last problem.
Whatever he chooses,there's no way he can do this.
“Sigh.” He starts writing nonsense.
(Here the bell rings.)
So the fighting across nine subjects finally ends, and Sandy’s winter break is finally here.
— And hh has finally finished updating.
For me? I finally finished this chapter.
(P.S. I guess this chapter will become my longest one. Writing this chapter so long was a bit difficult for me. Especially since I’m just a high school student—it really took me a very, very long time. But I feel satisfied. OK, so what’s your favorite fight among the nine subjects? Don’t need to tell me. See you next chapter! Thanks for reading!)
Welcome to 英语小play：
谚语 & 成语
Slow and steady wins the race. — 稳扎稳打，无往不胜(稳中求胜)
A true man knows when to bend and when to stand tall. — 大丈夫能屈能伸
---
本章词汇
velocity — 速度
calculate — 计算
naive — 天真
gravity — 重力
acceleration — 加速度
palm — 手心
blank — 空白
freeze — 愣住
destiny — 天命
politics — 政治
casually — 随便
pierce — 刺穿
pound — 拍打
dodge — 躲开
deflect — 击退
reagent — 试剂
battlefield — 战场
armor — 盔甲
spear — 矛
shield — 盾
war robe — 战袍
beard — 胡须
kneel — 跪下
liquid — 液体
bubble — 气泡
lysosome — 溶酶体
oval — 椭圆
chloroplast — 叶绿体
suffocate — 窒息
nonsense — 乱写
noob — 菜鸟
---
还有参考“文献”《木兰花·拟古决绝词柬友》
感谢宝子们的支持！
作者有话说
显示所有文的作话
第14章 Exam! Fighting!